Pyar ka Punchnama Dialogue

After being frustrated by his girl friend; Rajat take it all out…enjoy the below   

Problem yeh hai ki woh ladki hai.  aur kya problem hai

Problem yeh hai ki main chahata hoon ki meri life mein koiye problem na ho

Lekin agar meri life mein koiye problem na ho toh yeh uski life ki sabse badi problem hai…

And bull shit she is worried yaar use to celebrate karna chahiye tha

She is in this exactly what she wants

Seriously yaar aajkal jab bhi wo muh kholti man karta hai muh me kuch stuff kardoon
Trust me yaar cheih mahinom me I have had it all Sab dekhliya meine

Kaunsi pyaar  Kaisi relationship?

Kahin ki khushiya?

Relationship ka matlab ye rehta hai an end to your own happiness

Uske baad all you have to worry about is uski khushiyaan uska birthday

uske kutte ka birthday

Uska new year to kabhi tumhara bhi new year tha

In ladkiyon ko na koi khush nahi rakh sakta

A happy woman is a myth

Tu batman wali ki dekh le

Saala Jab tak saala batman nahi bana

tab tak bolti rahi

tum toh kuch karte nahi ho

nakara ho

napunshak ho

main tum jaise insaan ke saath kaise reh sakti hu

jisdin bechara batman ban gaya

us din boli

tum toh batman ban gaye

mujhe toh ek normal insaan chahiye tha

main tumhare saath kaise reh sakti hu

Sab saalan na in bollywood kahaniyon ka dosh hai

Bloody bollywood romantic masaala

Ek ladka ek ladki  dono ko pyaar hua  Dono saath saath Film khatam

Is ke baad  ka story koi nahi batata  Iske baad ki kahaani mein batata hoon

Iske baad ladke ne ladki ko do din hug nahi kiya  To problem

Hug kiya to chape ho rahe ho Itna bhi achcha nahi lagta

Saale Shopping khatam nahi hoti inki  Pehle cushion laye   fir curtain laye

cushion, curtain se match nahi kiye  toh aur cushion laye

mere ghar mein mug itne hai  ki unko bechne jaoon

toh mahine ka kharcha nikal aaye

Ek to jo cheez lena hai wo leke nahi ayegi do hafte dimag chatenge ki

table lena hai  table lena hai

5 ghante maal me bitake ek sadhi si chappal utha kar layenge

aur fir agle do hafte dimag chatenge

table lena hai table lena hai…

Offic e me kaam kar raha hoon

Phone aa jayega

Phone utathe hi bol deta hoon

Baat nahi kar sakta

Kitna mushkil hai ye baat samajhna?

Do minute karloge to kya ho jayega

Are do minute karloonga to tumhe kya miledi meri maan

Thik se to kar paoonga nahi

Aur iske baad I love you bole bina phone kaataan to naatak

Sabse jyada dimaag ki dahi is mobile phone ne ki hai…

Kitna ghatiya invention hai saala

Trust me I say patta hai saala patta…

ek toh …inke ad bhi dekho

lo ji 1 paisa per second

aur phone karo

aur phone karo

aare call sasti ho jaane se baat thodi na badh jati hai karne ko

fir iska jawab unhe bhi do

tumhare pass baat kyon nahi hai karne ko

you have lost interest in me

tumhe hoon hoon hi karna atha toh maine tumhe phone hi kyon kiya???

are meri maa mujhe kya pata tune mujhe phone kyon kiya???

jake bharti mittal se puch na…

tujhe main bata raha hoon

us ad mein kutta nahi kutia hai…

seriously

mein shart laga sakta hoon…

Tujhe kya lagta hai

Columbus ko pata nahi tha wo india nahi jaa raha tha

Glati se pahoonch gaya?

Usko to pata tha

Wo bechara to kahin door jaan chahta tha

Biwi ki chakkar me bolna pada India jaa raha hoon

Nah to das sawaal poochti

Kahaan jaa rahe ho

Kyon jaa rahe ho

Achcha tumhe pata bhi nahi kahaan jaa rahe ho?

Seedhe seedhe kyon nahi bolte ki mujhse kahin door jaan chahte ho/

Aaj tak bechare ka mazaak udati hai duniya

Office me kaam kar raha hoon

Sms aajayega

I love you

Thik hai mein bhi sms karleta hoon

I love you too

Iske baad sms pe sms shuroo

abey kaam kya karti hai office mein???

Do sms ka reply mat karna

Turant Phone aa jayega

Phone mat uthaa

To dus min me message aa chuka hoga

I don’t think its working anymore

Dus min me Babu I love you to

I don’t think its working anymore

And this is when they are not even down

Ab pata chala ye aadmiyon ko itne heart attack kyon aate hain

Aur yeh…. gay bande itne successful kyon hote hai???

Because they don’t have a woman to screw their happiness na

Log kehte hain na behind every successful man, there is a woman

True

But koi ye nahi bataata ki

behind every unsuccessful man, also there is a woman

Aur ye to koi bhi bata sakta hai na

Ki unsuccessful logon ka taadaath

Successful logon se kayi guna zyada hai is duniya me

Saala Office me kaam kar raha hoon

Keh raha hoon late ho jaaonga

To khaana nahi khayegi

Phir bhooki so jayegi

Are mein keh raha hoon na khana khalo

Kya karoon naukri chod doon?

saale ghar jaao

Pehle Inhe manao inhe khilao

Uske baad khud ki bhookh to aise hi mar jaati hai

Is sab ke baad bhi insaan kisi tarah

Kone me jaake shaanti se baitha hua hai chup chaap to gaya

Gadi gadi

kya soch rahe ho???

kya soch rahe ho???

kya soch rahe ho???

Are kuch nahi soch raha meri maa

yeh soch raha hoon ki tera mooh kaise band karu…

kya soch raha hoon

camera laga doon dimag mein…

Is sab ke baad

We never talk

We need to talk

I don’t think its working any more

And mein tumhe bata raha hoon

You cannot discuss anything with a woman

Because they call it a discussion

But any discussion with a woman is an argument

Aur argument mein toh tu boss unse jeet hi nahi sakta…

Because hum aadmiyon ki ek basic need hoti hai

To make sense in an argument

Ladkiyon ko koi farak nahi padta

Sense jaise bekaasi cheez ki wajeh se wo

Argument kaise haar jaye

Ek to aaj ki baat pe argument aaj hoga hi nahi

aaj ki baat par jhagada hoga do mahine baad…

Yahaan saala yaad hi nahi rehta hai do mahine pehle hua kya tha???

Ladkiyaan bacha ke rakhti hain

yeh chota hatiyar nahi

bada hatiyar hai

isse badi ladai mein use karenge…

TU kabhi try karliyo khud ko sahi saabit karne ki

Tujhe lag hi raha haoga ki is point se tu apni baat ko ssabit karlega

Lekin tabhi ek awaaz ayegi

Ungli neeche karoo

Tune dhyaan bhi nahi diya hoga

Lekin tumhari nadaan si ungli unki taraf point kar rahi hogi

And suddenly , the whole argument will flush down the gutter

And mudra ye reh jayega ki

How dare you point a finger at me?

Kisne banaya ye rule

Kisne banaya?

Saal wo beech argument me tumhe jhoota phek ke maarle to koi dikkat nahi

Lekin unki taraf ek ungli point kardo

Saara mudra khatam

Wo sahi tum galat

Shaadi se pehle wo nagin tune kyon bhajta hai

Kyon ki band wala bhi tumhe chetaavani de raha hoga ki kaun aa raha hai tumhari zindagi me

Inka signature tune hai wo

Ab ye bata wo kya karne aayi thi tere paas yahaan

Same cheez mein karoon to

Uske kisi friend ko call karke

Ab ye problems ginaoon to

Kahegi tumne meir friend ko call kiya

Hmm hmm

Tum uski sympathy gain karna chahte ho?

Y don’t you go and sleep with her?

Its ridiculous yaar